What is a toxic person? Now I’m not talking about people who have negative patterns or sometimes behaviors, we all have that. No one is perfect and we each have things about us that are not loving or kind or who may be going through a bad time.
What is a toxic person? Now I’m not talking about people who have negative patterns or sometimes behaviors, we all have that. No one is perfect and we each have things about us that are not loving or kind or who may be going through a bad time. The difference between that and a person who is toxic is…toxic people are always like that. They are the people who suck your energy or as I like to call them energy suckers or emotional vampires.
Those are the ones who constantly take without ever giving back, they always call you or text you to tell you their drama, and they ALWAYS have drama. Every time you’re together they have a problem and they expect you to be there to listen to it… incessantly. They get annoyed with you if you don’t have time for them and when they are annoyed with you, they talk about you behind your back to whoever else they can get to listen. You know they do this because they do it with you about someone else who isn’t doing for them what they want. They are the users if you can do something for them then that is when you are their best friend. But of course, when you need them, they are nowhere to be found. We all know those people and we all have someone in our life that is toxic. So what to do?
When it’s family it a bit more difficult to just cut them off unless of course their abusive, that is a whole different animal. Anyone who is abusive to you should be cut out of your life. You are not loving yourself if you allow even family to abuse you. Toxic people aren’t like that but they do take a toll on you, you will know if someone is toxic when every time you see them calling or texting you cringe just a little bit. Or anytime you know you are going to see them you dread getting together because you leave them feeling energetically drained. It’s not fun, you aren’t looking forward to getting together and you can’t wait to get out of their presence. If it’s family it much harder to cut them off completely and you probably don’t want to, but you can at least for your own sake limit your time and energy with them. See them only occasionally, limit phone calls to every so often and of course remember who you are dealing with so you don’t take anything they do personally.
Don’t set yourself up for disappointment and know that you won’t give over too much time and energy. The same applies to toxic people that you may have to work with. You have to be there, and so do they, but limit your interactions. By doing those things you are respecting yourself and you aren’t setting yourself up to be disappointed.
Then there are those people that you have a choice to remove from your life. Those may be acquaintances and unfortunately sometimes friends, even friends that you may have known for many, many years. Those are not easy to let go of but for your own sake, it may be time to say goodbye. Recently I have had to do just that. In the last few years, I have made some big changes in my life and one is stopping my relationships with toxic people. I don’t have the tolerance for it any longer. As I have evaluated these relationships I realized that what I call friendship isn’t what I was getting anyway so what was I losing? I was losing people who talked badly about me, used me, created drama wherever they went, were jealous, manipulative and didn’t care about me. That isn’t my definition of friendship. They didn’t wish me well or have my best interest at heart. They didn’t have me at heart at all… so really the friendship was gone a long time ago. It just took me a while to figure that out. And I can tell you since I have removed these toxic people a whole new world has opened up for me.
The Universe abhors a vacuum, it must fill up when you are ready to make space for it, what was removed. And it has tenfold; I have made more new friends and connections in this last year than when I was in school. I have met so many people who are on the same page that I am. They are fun, have integrity and are supportive, they don’t have drama following them everywhere they go and they enjoy their lives. It has been so refreshing, to look forward to getting together and doing things. They are much more aligned with where I am at now in my life. I realize now that I wouldn’t have been available to receive this with the toxic people taking up space in my life. Removing a toxic person from you can be one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. Life is way too short to be around miserable, manipulators all the time. And now when I get a text I don’t cringe first before reading it, thinking to myself, “OH God, what’s the problem now?” It’s really quite nice!